Top Ten Jadeveon Clowney Facts
1. Clowney does not sleep. He waits.
2. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Clowney.
3. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Clowney, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
4. Crop circles are Clowney's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down.
5. Clowney is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
6. Clowney can touch MC Hammer.
7. Clowney ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
8. Clowney can pee pee into gale force winds.
9. Clowney can slam a revolving door.
10. The Rams will not trade up for Jadeveon Clowney.
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