We should keep track of Goodell's punishments:
Punching wife in the face and dragging her around by her hair/2 game suspension
Take part in killing dogs/2 game suspension
Attack a stripper and threaten a security guard/16 game suspension
Stomp on opponent's head/5 game suspension(Unless you're
Ndamukong Suh, then you only get suspended for 2 games)
Shoot yourself in the leg with a gun/4 game suspension
Misdemeanor assault/3 game suspension
Get caught smoking weed once/Rehab
Get caught smoking weed twice/2 to 4 games suspension depending on sincerity of butt-kissing during appeal hearing
Get caught smoking weed 3 times/1 year suspension
Tell your players to knock opponents out and make throat-slashing gesture/1 Year suspension
Miss a scheduled drug test/4 game suspension