- Joined
- Feb 9, 2014
- Messages
- 20,922
- Name
- Peter
11 Sammy Watkins hits the light switch and is in bed before the room gets dark.
14. Sammy Watkins sold his soul to the devil for his great hands and superhuman speed. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Sammy challenged Satan to a footrace and beat him running backwards. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every Wednesday night.
15. They once made a Sammy Watkins toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody
16. Sammy Watkins is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, he ate the Indian.
17. Sammy Watkins once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from The Karate Kid.
18. Sammy Watkins made Ellen Degeneres straight.
19. Sammy Watkins is what Willis was talking about.
20. When Sammy Watkins had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
21. Sammy Watkins is so fast that he once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
22. Sammy Watkins drinks napalm to ease his heartburn.