In my opinion, it IS the best Mexican restaurant. Until I can find one that doesn't microwave the shit out of their plates and hand it to me under the guise that it was cooked from scratch and not nuked to holy hell.
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Nah, there were some really good ones in Florida. But ever since we got up here, we've tried at least 6 or 7 different joints and EVERY SINGLE TIME, the plate comes out as if it was dipped in a volcano. That's the sign that they're not cooking SHIT back there. Also, one time, the plate came out of - I guess - a nuclear reactor, and the damn chimichanga was cold inside.
C'MON!
That's where the Tequila comes in...can't eat the food...fuck it, get another drink
SteezyEndo
The Immaculate Exception
Two guys are standing outside the pearly gates, waiting to get into heaven.
The first guy says to the second "hey, how'd you die?"
The second guys says "well, I froze to death"
The first guys says "that must have been awful"
The second guy says "well, actually, it wasn't too bad. First, you shiver. Then, your extremities start to go numb. Then, you get sleepy and finally you just die".
The second guys asks the first guy how he died.
The first guys says "I died of a heart attack"
The second guys asks 'how'd it happen?"
The first guy says "well, I suspected my wife of having an affair. So, I snuck home early one day and raced upstairs to the bedroom to catch her in the act. All I saw was her... doing some knitting.
Unconvinced, I raced downstairs and checked every room... nothing!
I raced back upstairs and checked every room... nothing!
I went into the basement and checked everything... nothing!
I was headed up to the attic, when - all of a sudden - I had my heart attack."
The second guy turns to him and says "shit... you should have checked the freezer... we'd both still be alive!"
The first guy says to the second "hey, how'd you die?"
The second guys says "well, I froze to death"
The first guys says "that must have been awful"
The second guy says "well, actually, it wasn't too bad. First, you shiver. Then, your extremities start to go numb. Then, you get sleepy and finally you just die".
The second guys asks the first guy how he died.
The first guys says "I died of a heart attack"
The second guys asks 'how'd it happen?"
The first guy says "well, I suspected my wife of having an affair. So, I snuck home early one day and raced upstairs to the bedroom to catch her in the act. All I saw was her... doing some knitting.
Unconvinced, I raced downstairs and checked every room... nothing!
I raced back upstairs and checked every room... nothing!
I went into the basement and checked everything... nothing!
I was headed up to the attic, when - all of a sudden - I had my heart attack."
The second guy turns to him and says "shit... you should have checked the freezer... we'd both still be alive!"
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Watch the video and then read the comments below it. No, that isn't Andre the Giant on vocals. And no, that isn't Wolfman Jack on piano.
And this advice is not good unless you want to get a DWI. "Have a drink, have a drive. Go out and see what you can find."
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvUQcnfwUUM
And this advice is not good unless you want to get a DWI. "Have a drink, have a drive. Go out and see what you can find."
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvUQcnfwUUM
There was about 4 inches of snow on the ground and, as a snow plow Operator was busy doing his job, he noticed a car behind him.
It had been following him for a half hour, making every turn he made.
Finally, the Operator stopped the plow and walked over to the car.
The window of the car opened to reveal a beautiful blonde.
The Operator asked her, "why are you following me around, making every turn I make?"
The woman explained, "well, my husband always told me that, if there's a snow storm, get behind a snow plow and you'll never get stuck".
The Operator said, "well, that makes sense".
"Now that I've finished the Walmart parking lot, do you want to follow me to Target?"
It had been following him for a half hour, making every turn he made.
Finally, the Operator stopped the plow and walked over to the car.
The window of the car opened to reveal a beautiful blonde.
The Operator asked her, "why are you following me around, making every turn I make?"
The woman explained, "well, my husband always told me that, if there's a snow storm, get behind a snow plow and you'll never get stuck".
The Operator said, "well, that makes sense".
"Now that I've finished the Walmart parking lot, do you want to follow me to Target?"
