- Joined
- Jun 20, 2010
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- The Dude
http://www.ramsondemand.com/blog/good-job-good-effort/
If you haven’t already seen this clip or heard this audio already, be prepared to be taken back to a time when being proud of your favorite team – no matter what – was a socially accepted standard.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=091e6Ugk1Ms[/youtube]
This kid has more cajones than most adult fans I know. To loudly praise a team for solid effort after a loss is not something you see or hear every day. Sure, it’s all about winning, and everybody wants their favorite team to win a Championship every year, but it’s becoming the norm to shellack everybody and their mother if that team falls short. This guy’s a bust, that guy’s a bum, and some other guy couldn’t carry the jock of another player drafted the same year by another team. And of course all of those comments come from ‘fans’ who are too busy wiping Cheetos crumbs off of their chest to notice how much hard work and dedication it takes to even GET to that level of professional sports.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at the 10 different types of fans, and we’ll use our very own Sam ‘Big Easy’ Bradford as the subject matter in some cases.
1. The guy who thinks he’s better than Bradford.
This guy probably played Pee Wee Football. Hell, he might’ve even made it all the way up to High School Ball. And if you’re unfortunate enough to share a message board with this guy, you’ll invariably be subjected to mountains of ‘evidence’ that Bradford isn’t a good QB. He can’t hit the fade. He has no mobility. He has no pocket presence. He has no touch. He can’t execute a screen. Oh! Did you see that! He held the ball too long! This guy is to be avoided at all costs. He’s simply too arrogant to tolerate, and you’ll spend WAY too much time trying to figure out which synapse in his brain has mis-fired, causing him to offer expert analyses based off of his stellar flag-football career.
2. The Archconservative
The Archconservative is the guy who roots for his own team, is entrenched in tradition, but doesn’t get crazy with online media. He will watch every game he can (on television), and read the papers the next morning, but he’s not going to get too involved in social networking. He will get ramped up for games he attends, but is also painfully aware of many of the intricacies lost on the common fan. If you don’t think you fall into any of the other categories, you are an archconservative. If you’re reading this, you’re not (because you’re now involved in online media).
3. The Die-Hard
Don’t mess with Die-Hard sports fans of bad teams. Just … don’t.
This guy watches every game, and he knows everything. He is probably on an online forum at this very moment telling everyone how successful the backup safety’s knee scope turned out. This guy will stick with his team, religiously, even if its been over a decade since they finished with more wins than losses. The Die-Hard is the guy you want to have in your section during games, but nowhere near your kids after about 8 stadium beers. This is also the fan that will vociferously MELT your ears after every bad call by a zebra.
On the flip side, if the Die-Hard’s team is successful, he will gladly (and calmly) explain the intricacies of the team to any curious fan. If The Die-Hard’s team is mediocre, or flat-out bad, he is more likely to be found yelling things that could make Rex Ryan blush. In the end though, you want this guy on that wall. You NEED this guy on that wall.
4. The Statistician – or, the Sabermetric Guy
This guy’s hero is Billy Beane. This is also the kid everyone made fun of in middle school because he OWNED math class. Now that statistics measuring player performances actually involves the same math with which this kid excelled, you’re now poised to hate him all over again. It’s the circle of life.
Watching a game for most fans involves a broad view of team play and a working knowledge of what it takes for 22 men to function as a well-oiled machine. For the Sabermetric Guy, it entails stat harvesting over a number of games to formulate a logical conclusion about a particular player’s career; both up to that point, and well into the future. This guy will also likely have multiple subscriptions to Pro Football Focus and other stat aggregate sites. If you want to know about Sam Bradford, he’ll tell you. His WPA/G, EPA/P, SR(%), AYPA, and where he ranks in multiple categories relative to QB performance. He doesn’t know his jersey number, but you’ll get all the other pertinent numbers.
5. The Pessimist
This guy also moonlights as Cap Locks Guy.
SAM BRADFORD IS A BUST!!! HE CAN’T EVEN SEE 10 YARDS IN FRONT OF HIS FACE!!! DINK AND DUNK SPREAD MORON BUM SHOULDER INJURY PRONE ANKLE FUMBLE SACK $50 MILLION GUARANTEED SUCKS TRADE CUT FIRE NEVER GONNA BE GOOD RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!!!!!!!
Just ignore this asshat. Best advice I can give you.
6. The Apologist
Sports fans love to complain, and it’s almost completely evolved into an art form. After all, it’s fun to rail against your own team. Well, the Apologist has no need for that kind of “fun.” He’s always thinking about the game logically. Sam Bradford might have a 75 QB rating, but the Apologist can tell you exactly why that is. Often given the nickname of “Sunshine Pumper” or “Pollyanna”, the Apologist is completely unfazed by his detractors. These guys are cool under pressure and feed off of illogical arguments. These guys are also plenty smart. You actually have to be in order to go toe-to-toe with Sabermetric Guy on a consistent basis.
The Apologist is also (typically) the target on sports forums of bad teams. Nobody likes the guy who’s able to calmly and rationally explain, over and over again, why statistics present themselves the way they do. They’re masters of cause and effect, and are rather adept at ADDING statistics to analyses that are often incompletely parsed and presented. They will drive you crazy, and their eternal battle with a jaded Statistician is one for the ages. It really does make for entertaining reading.
7. The Pink Jersey Fan
There are actually two female categories here. A lot of females fall into neither category because most females are not sports fans. The Pink Jersey Fan doesn’t know very much about sports. It’s the same concept as a guy who pretends to be a fan of chick-flicks in the early stages of a relationship. She will wear a jersey of her favorite team (very often pink), and she’ll try to engage conversations by asking a great deal of questions while deflecting any questions thrown in her direction. Usually dropping something and picking it back up will offer up a nice distraction.
8. The Female Sports Fan
If you meet a female who has a working knowledge of sports and can carry a conversation that encapsulates 10 years of one team’s history, you freaking marry that woman. Don’t give me anything about looks here either. While looks are important in the beginning, at age 60, neither one of you will grace the covers of Vogue. So you invest in the future, and you do it now.
9. The Bandwagon Fan
The Bandwagon fan is not really a sports fan. Instead, he will root for whatever team happens to be popular. As soon as a team starts doing well and the real fans start talking about it, The Bandwagon Fan starts to feel left out and wants to join in the conversation. He’ll wear the jerseys and do enough research to know the names of the players, but that’s as far as it goes. His allegiance to the team will only go as far as the team does as well.
There was once a time in all of your lives when you rooted for a team you didn’t follow because you got caught up in the excitement. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s part of what makes sports great. Jumping in and OUT of a team’s fan’s ranks is not only costly (jerseys are not cheap unless you get them from China), but it also only works once. Bandwagon Fans are usually spotted right away; and despite their best efforts to reassimilate, they typically don’t pass the eye test. The dead giveaway is mentioning a player who was cut the year before as though he’s still on the team. “Man that Avery is fast!”
Next.
10. The Fantasy Addict
The Fantasy Addict can be a traitor to sports fans at times. Sure, he has favorite teams, but if it came right down to it, he’s taking the 49ers defense against the Rams in week 16 with an understanding that the Rams have too many injuries, and statistically, the 49ers are too much of a lock to get him points.
This defeats the purpose of sports. The only time I can play Fantasy Football is when the Rams have enough key playmakers to make it worth my while. But even then, it’s way too painful to see my favorite team lose AND not get enough points to unseat “Dirty Bird 19″ in the rankings because I played Danario Alexander over Roddy White. I’m long-suffering, but I don’t like to double-dip in the pain pool.
Did I leave anyone out?
Thoughts?
If you haven’t already seen this clip or heard this audio already, be prepared to be taken back to a time when being proud of your favorite team – no matter what – was a socially accepted standard.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=091e6Ugk1Ms[/youtube]
This kid has more cajones than most adult fans I know. To loudly praise a team for solid effort after a loss is not something you see or hear every day. Sure, it’s all about winning, and everybody wants their favorite team to win a Championship every year, but it’s becoming the norm to shellack everybody and their mother if that team falls short. This guy’s a bust, that guy’s a bum, and some other guy couldn’t carry the jock of another player drafted the same year by another team. And of course all of those comments come from ‘fans’ who are too busy wiping Cheetos crumbs off of their chest to notice how much hard work and dedication it takes to even GET to that level of professional sports.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at the 10 different types of fans, and we’ll use our very own Sam ‘Big Easy’ Bradford as the subject matter in some cases.
1. The guy who thinks he’s better than Bradford.
This guy probably played Pee Wee Football. Hell, he might’ve even made it all the way up to High School Ball. And if you’re unfortunate enough to share a message board with this guy, you’ll invariably be subjected to mountains of ‘evidence’ that Bradford isn’t a good QB. He can’t hit the fade. He has no mobility. He has no pocket presence. He has no touch. He can’t execute a screen. Oh! Did you see that! He held the ball too long! This guy is to be avoided at all costs. He’s simply too arrogant to tolerate, and you’ll spend WAY too much time trying to figure out which synapse in his brain has mis-fired, causing him to offer expert analyses based off of his stellar flag-football career.
2. The Archconservative
The Archconservative is the guy who roots for his own team, is entrenched in tradition, but doesn’t get crazy with online media. He will watch every game he can (on television), and read the papers the next morning, but he’s not going to get too involved in social networking. He will get ramped up for games he attends, but is also painfully aware of many of the intricacies lost on the common fan. If you don’t think you fall into any of the other categories, you are an archconservative. If you’re reading this, you’re not (because you’re now involved in online media).
3. The Die-Hard
Don’t mess with Die-Hard sports fans of bad teams. Just … don’t.
This guy watches every game, and he knows everything. He is probably on an online forum at this very moment telling everyone how successful the backup safety’s knee scope turned out. This guy will stick with his team, religiously, even if its been over a decade since they finished with more wins than losses. The Die-Hard is the guy you want to have in your section during games, but nowhere near your kids after about 8 stadium beers. This is also the fan that will vociferously MELT your ears after every bad call by a zebra.
On the flip side, if the Die-Hard’s team is successful, he will gladly (and calmly) explain the intricacies of the team to any curious fan. If The Die-Hard’s team is mediocre, or flat-out bad, he is more likely to be found yelling things that could make Rex Ryan blush. In the end though, you want this guy on that wall. You NEED this guy on that wall.
4. The Statistician – or, the Sabermetric Guy
This guy’s hero is Billy Beane. This is also the kid everyone made fun of in middle school because he OWNED math class. Now that statistics measuring player performances actually involves the same math with which this kid excelled, you’re now poised to hate him all over again. It’s the circle of life.
Watching a game for most fans involves a broad view of team play and a working knowledge of what it takes for 22 men to function as a well-oiled machine. For the Sabermetric Guy, it entails stat harvesting over a number of games to formulate a logical conclusion about a particular player’s career; both up to that point, and well into the future. This guy will also likely have multiple subscriptions to Pro Football Focus and other stat aggregate sites. If you want to know about Sam Bradford, he’ll tell you. His WPA/G, EPA/P, SR(%), AYPA, and where he ranks in multiple categories relative to QB performance. He doesn’t know his jersey number, but you’ll get all the other pertinent numbers.
5. The Pessimist
This guy also moonlights as Cap Locks Guy.
SAM BRADFORD IS A BUST!!! HE CAN’T EVEN SEE 10 YARDS IN FRONT OF HIS FACE!!! DINK AND DUNK SPREAD MORON BUM SHOULDER INJURY PRONE ANKLE FUMBLE SACK $50 MILLION GUARANTEED SUCKS TRADE CUT FIRE NEVER GONNA BE GOOD RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!!!!!!!
Just ignore this asshat. Best advice I can give you.
6. The Apologist
Sports fans love to complain, and it’s almost completely evolved into an art form. After all, it’s fun to rail against your own team. Well, the Apologist has no need for that kind of “fun.” He’s always thinking about the game logically. Sam Bradford might have a 75 QB rating, but the Apologist can tell you exactly why that is. Often given the nickname of “Sunshine Pumper” or “Pollyanna”, the Apologist is completely unfazed by his detractors. These guys are cool under pressure and feed off of illogical arguments. These guys are also plenty smart. You actually have to be in order to go toe-to-toe with Sabermetric Guy on a consistent basis.
The Apologist is also (typically) the target on sports forums of bad teams. Nobody likes the guy who’s able to calmly and rationally explain, over and over again, why statistics present themselves the way they do. They’re masters of cause and effect, and are rather adept at ADDING statistics to analyses that are often incompletely parsed and presented. They will drive you crazy, and their eternal battle with a jaded Statistician is one for the ages. It really does make for entertaining reading.
7. The Pink Jersey Fan
There are actually two female categories here. A lot of females fall into neither category because most females are not sports fans. The Pink Jersey Fan doesn’t know very much about sports. It’s the same concept as a guy who pretends to be a fan of chick-flicks in the early stages of a relationship. She will wear a jersey of her favorite team (very often pink), and she’ll try to engage conversations by asking a great deal of questions while deflecting any questions thrown in her direction. Usually dropping something and picking it back up will offer up a nice distraction.
8. The Female Sports Fan
If you meet a female who has a working knowledge of sports and can carry a conversation that encapsulates 10 years of one team’s history, you freaking marry that woman. Don’t give me anything about looks here either. While looks are important in the beginning, at age 60, neither one of you will grace the covers of Vogue. So you invest in the future, and you do it now.
9. The Bandwagon Fan
The Bandwagon fan is not really a sports fan. Instead, he will root for whatever team happens to be popular. As soon as a team starts doing well and the real fans start talking about it, The Bandwagon Fan starts to feel left out and wants to join in the conversation. He’ll wear the jerseys and do enough research to know the names of the players, but that’s as far as it goes. His allegiance to the team will only go as far as the team does as well.
There was once a time in all of your lives when you rooted for a team you didn’t follow because you got caught up in the excitement. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s part of what makes sports great. Jumping in and OUT of a team’s fan’s ranks is not only costly (jerseys are not cheap unless you get them from China), but it also only works once. Bandwagon Fans are usually spotted right away; and despite their best efforts to reassimilate, they typically don’t pass the eye test. The dead giveaway is mentioning a player who was cut the year before as though he’s still on the team. “Man that Avery is fast!”
Next.
10. The Fantasy Addict
The Fantasy Addict can be a traitor to sports fans at times. Sure, he has favorite teams, but if it came right down to it, he’s taking the 49ers defense against the Rams in week 16 with an understanding that the Rams have too many injuries, and statistically, the 49ers are too much of a lock to get him points.
This defeats the purpose of sports. The only time I can play Fantasy Football is when the Rams have enough key playmakers to make it worth my while. But even then, it’s way too painful to see my favorite team lose AND not get enough points to unseat “Dirty Bird 19″ in the rankings because I played Danario Alexander over Roddy White. I’m long-suffering, but I don’t like to double-dip in the pain pool.
Did I leave anyone out?
Thoughts?