FAILS you’ve observed, or participated in!

[CGI_Ram]

A great idea gone bad.

A project, yours or other, goes awry.

A simple accident around the house.

Anything you’ve stumbled across, in person.

Key part; you’ve been a part of it, or observed it.

 

[CGI_Ram]

So this topic crossed my mind thinking of one Thanksgiving my sister somehow got salt/sugar and teaspoon/tablespoon flip flopped.

The cornbread ended up super salty. It wasn’t discovered until everyone started eating them around the table. Nobody wanted to say anything at first... lol. You can imagine. Still a running joke.

But... This is a MILD EXAMPLE...

Another...

As young teenagers... three of us were playing with a crossbow and my buddy decides to shoot an arrow straight into the air.

Mind you... this could have been deadly so it was super-super stupid... but WE WENT RUNNING like a grenade was set to go off.... yeah, dumb.

It ended up coming down thru his swimming pool (we never saw the arrow come down), which still had the cover on it.

A few weeks later, maybe even month plus... the cover collapses into the pool as it’s nearly half drained. lol.

Yeah.... Explain that to Dad!

 

[Loyal]

We had a doughboy pool in the backyard in summer when I was young. We had a poor black Manx cat named Max who had to suffer my stupidity as I grew. I remember cutting off one side of Max's whiskers and was amazed there was no feeling to him, but didn't know that the cat needed his whiskers for spatial awareness. That was bad enough, but then I decided one summer that Max wanted to swim in that before mentioned pool...boy he was pissed after I threw him in and then my Mom told me to help him get out....

That SUMBICH scratched the shit out of me!

 

[Loyal]

This thread is RIGHT in my wheelhouse. Down the street lived my Mom and Dad's friend and his family, so there was a history there that beyond being just SoCal neighbors. Anyway, I used to play with their daughter Peggy because she was closest to my age and she was a bit of a tomboy. Anyway, I played a game of "trust me" with her foot and a garden implement with three spines/spikes

"Don't move."

I started stabbing the earth around her foot, and she of course moved when she shouldn't have. It went right through her bare foot and that tattle tail started to scream! I said,

"Shhhh!!! They'll find out!"

Chicks be crazy...

 

[ozarkram]

This involves and epic fail that still burns my butt all these years later. I had gone to work like any other day. I was called to the admin where two senior managers took me into an office. I will call them A and B. They had me sit down while they both took seats in front of me and to either side of me much like a judge and prosecutor. The vibe in the room was not good. After a very little small talk I ask what this was all about. They told me I had been accused of being a thief. I immediately showed color but knew I had to calm down because I don't think clearly when I am really angry. After a moment, I asked what I had supposedly stolen, who my accuser was and when it had supposedly happened. They answered all my questions except who my accuser was and went on to tell me that I might as well fess up so the could decide whether to just fire me have me arrested or both. Now things were a little clearer for me. I ask one question. Do you have any proof? This seemed to perplex them. The answer, Well no. I said well why are we here? This circle jerk went on for about 45 minutes them repeating the accusation me asking for proof. Finally I got up told them do what you feel is best and I left them setting there. I found a buddy of mine and said look do me a favor go up to Mr A and Mr B and tell them the date they had asked me about I had been out of state on the third day of a 10 day vacation. My buddy came back and said what the hell is going on? Those two just shit themselves right in front of me. In about 5 minutes both A and B were kissing and licking every part of my ass telling me what a great guy I was please don't sue. They never believed it for a moment please don't sue. For about a year after that whenever those two saw me they ran the other way. I should have sued but I didn't. Still pisses me off. Sorry for the book.

 

[den-the-coach]

Back in 2000, when my wife and I were selling out house and looking for are so called 'Dream House" I wanted to purchase and older home in this area we loved and restore it, my wife reminded me that the only thing I was really capable of in fixing up a house was painting, everything else, not so good, but I was determined because of that area and the house was an old style Victorian with a huge porch that I loved.

Well, if you've every seen the movie "Money Pit" you know what I'm referring to, everything I tried to do, led to something else and everything just failed...Thankfully a good friend of mine, whose father was a contractor made me a great offer on the home and we sold it and moved to another area close and purchased brand new construction and they included a great porch too....FWIW, buy new construction.

 

[fearsomefour]

No milk......
Wheaties.....
Coffee Mate....

 

[Angry Ram]

When I was like 8 or 9, being the oldest in my group of friends, we were at one of their houses for a birthday party. This guy had a lot of bikes, and lived on top of a hill (you know where this is going lol). I rode down hill on the road, and someone called my name. Turned around, didn't realize I was at the end of the hill and the front tire met the curb. I went flying and landed on my back in some random dude's front yard. Ouch.

But here's the best part....it happened AGAIN a few years later. This time it was the neighbor kids, going down and bam...on my back again.

Another thing I did was those death trap merry go rounds. This was the same group of friends from the birthday party incident, but we're all older. I was a college sophomore I believe, at some get together in a church that had a playground. Well, we're older and we all got on the merry go rounds and this dude just spins it fast as all else, and then just randomly stops it. I again go flying and stumbling. I do a backflip and land in the mud puddle. Now I'm dizzy and the entire world looks all sorts of fucked up. Fun times lol.

 

[Neil039]

This is a story of showing off and how it just isn’t worth it.

I’ve been in martial arts almost 34 years, in the same style for 30t. About 15 years ago I was teaching class with a group of brown and green belts. We were practicing breaking boards. I had these slip together rubber boards. So we could reuse them.

So a couple of students ask if I had ever broke more than 1. I tell them no but sure I can if I try. Within minutes I am striking two boards with no issue with both hands.

Then it falls apart from here. My top student, Alex, asks me to break three. I’m all jazzed up, so what the hell. He holds the boards chest high. I line up my strike and BAM, all three snap. I feel a sharp pain shoot up my wrist to my elbow. I wince but keep my composure. We end class shortly after this.

I call a friend who is a doctor, she advises me to call my PC Doc and get a referral for an ortho doc to check it out. Being me, I ignore her and continue to teach and ignore the pain.

A few weeks later I am out working and run into an old co-worker. We go to shake hands and before he can truly squeeze my hand I crumble to the floor in excruciating pain. Mind you, I am a smart ass and jokester. He thinks I’m kidding around and squeezes my hand harder. I feel a pop and my hand swells up like a balloon.

So I end up going to the doctor 3 weeks after breaking the boards. I had partially torn the tendon to my finger finger knuckle. Surgery with sutures, six weeks in a cast and 20 classes of embarrassment was enough to teach me showing off catches up with you eventually. Thank god no one recorded it or had it up on Youtube.

 

[den-the-coach]

No milk......
Wheaties.....
Coffee Mate....

The Milkman during the pandemic is making a comeback.

 

[Loyal]

The Milkman during the pandemic is making a comeback.
View attachment 38094

Does he deliver sour cream and butter as well?

 

[den-the-coach]

Does he deliver sour cream and butter as well?

Yes & the cream always rises to the top.

 

[1maGoh]

Yes & the cream always rises to the top.

 

[RamFan503]

Epic fail? I was riding my bike down the street when I was a kid. Of course we always used to do brodies. Well... I'm driving along and my rear tire looks like it picked up a piece of tar. So I'm looking at my tire as this piece of tar starts growing. Oh... That's my SLAM! My tube was coming through my tire and while observing this phenomena, I ran right into the back of a parked car. But this was no normal parked car. Oh no. I had to run into one with a long threaded metal dowel sticking out of its bumper.

The dowel stuck through my leg next to my shin far enough to stretch the skin on the back of my calf. I had to pull my leg off this bolt and walk my bike home about four blocks. I'm not even sure how I did it. Shock I suppose.

Now keep in mind, this was 50 years ago. The scar is still there.

Of course no part of it was as bad as when they cleaned it at the hospital.


Same leg as this lovely from when I was about 25.

A bunch of us were out partying at what we called "The River Property". Just a bunch of 10 acre parcels on the upper Naciemento River.

Anyway... We wanted to go down a ways to a swimming hole, so we piled in a friend's Jeep and headed down. About half way there we came up to a really saggy barbed wire fence.

My brilliant idea? I'll stand on the fence while you roll over it. It actually worked great until he spun his rear tires a little. It tore the bottom of my foot on its way to laying open my calf.

But that's ok. I had another buddy that was "going to be a doctor". He got out his bag, butterfly bandaged the shit out of it, wrapped it, taped it, now where is that Tequila? And did you say you had some codeine?

Yeah... Probably should have seen a real doctor on that one too.

 

[RamBall]

When I was 13 I got into racing BMX bicycles and talked my father into getting me a better bike than the one my mother gave me for 8th grade graduation. We decided to make a ramp and jump our bikes into my buddies pool, so I took my racing bike home and grabbed my practice bike. My mother asked why I switched bikes, being a bad liar at that time of my life, I told her because I didnt want to jump my good bike into the pool. She told me if anything bad happens, I will be grounded for the summer and no more racing BMX. I was treading water holding onto the neighbors bike by the handle bars when my buddies sister comes out the sliding door. I let go of the bike and kicked a sharp broken weld, slicing the ball of my foot. One of the guys asked me why there was red coming from my foot? So I got out to check and instantly was surrounded by blood in every direction for about 8 ft. My buddies sister freaked out and went to get my mom. Well a couple hrs and 7 stitches later, I could no longer go swimming or ride my bike due to the 4 inch question mark slice on the ball of my foot. Of course I tried to ride and even race my bike before it ever healed. This happened the 1st week of July and it didnt heal until March.

 

[fearsomefour]

View attachment 38112

“Where was he getting those creamers from?”
Ten year olds everywhere.

 

[fearsomefour]

As a junior or senior in high school, was hanging out with two friends.
We were having some drinks.
About 5pm we were pretty lit and decided it would be a great idea to go hike a local mountain.
Bishops Peak.
Not a big mountain by any stretch.
But we were pretty lit.
We grabbed some flash lights, as the sun was going down and some water and hit out.
Because we decided to “trailblaze” and not follow the trail, we got to the top and it was completely dark. 8 pm or so.
We hung out for awhile talking and decided to head down.
Moonless night.
Of course both flashlights die within 10 min of one another. It then starts to rain.
We end up, as young stupid guys do, arguing.
One friend heads down the trail.
Me and another friend decide to short cut it between loops in the trail.
Really stupid.
No flashlight and a dark wet night.
We each ended up falling a few times.
There were some steep drop offs and at times we were just feeling our way along. Took some falls. Damn lucky none were more than a few feet.
Getting cut up and scratched.
As the sun was coming up we finally made it back to the car.
I just remember walking into McDonald’s.....tired, hung over. There were a couple of underclassmen there that I knew.
They had seen me the afternoon before when we were leaving school. Now the next morning I am standing next to them at McDonalds....sweats torn from below the right butt to the right knee, a couple rips in my shirt.
Covered in dirt and mud, scraps and cuts on the legs, arms, face and hands.
They were looking at me with big eyes and I just said something like “interesting night”.
Anyway, the worst part was the poison oak.
On the arms and hands and on the junk. Stopped to pee while trying to feel out way down the mountain.
The swelling was welcome but the itching was just misery.
We were lucky no one got seriously injured from a fall.
Very stupid.
Haha.

 

[1maGoh]

“Where was he getting those creamers from?”
Ten year olds everywhere.

Even I say that now. He had like 6 or the damn things tucked in that wrist band!