Always a hard day...

[Dodgersrf]

Yeah, that approach where (hopefully) he doesn't feel it is one person attacking him or with some sort of agenda is a good idea. My father is now talking about buying a Harley....um, dad, you keep things in your car....denial is an amazing thing.
I had almost PTSD symptoms after our 16 year old passed. For quite awhile if the phone rang I would almost go into a panic. If my son or wife was off somewhere and I heard sirens my mind would just spin to the worst possible scenario. It was very difficult to let my son play football or drive or anything else because I was just so wound up about bad things happening. To this day, 10 years later, my stomach sinks (I feel sick for a moment) if I get a phone call from a number I don't know....that is sort of crazy but it is the reaction I have.
I am not saying that to downplay people that suffer from PTSD, I just don't know what else to compare it to. It is emotionally exhausting in a way.
I would tell myself to get over it (after several years) because Eddie was not our "born" son. He came into our family as a young kid and we adopted him. Every persons situation is different, their feelings, experiences and reactions are different.
I don't know a lot but I do know this....what you are feeling is yours to feel. You dont have to justify or explain it to anyone else. Sometimes it may make you cry and sometimes it may make you laugh. But it is yours. There are no magic words or no specific easy fix. You have the right to experience it how you do without feeling pressure from anyone else.

I'm at a loss. You are the 3rd person on this site, that I now know, have had to (and always will) go through this.
I'm crushed, thinking about what you all have to deal with.

 

[fearsomefour]

I'm at a loss. You are the 3rd person on this site, that I now know, have had to (and always will) go through this.
I'm crushed, thinking about what you all have to deal with.

Its a strange thing for sure.
The world is a nightmare....but it is for tons of people in different way.

 

[Mackeyser]

I'm at a loss. You are the 3rd person on this site, that I now know, have had to (and always will) go through this.
I'm crushed, thinking about what you all have to deal with.

A lot of people don't know this, but prior to 1900, in most parts of this country and around the world, infant and child mortality was 50% - meaning that prior to age 5 iirc, there was a 50% chance that child would die of some disease or disaster. When they say life was hard, they really meant it. They had lots of kids on those days because children didn't survive and that was a fact of life...a crushingly hard fact, but a fact. It's only with modern sanitation, refrigeration and medicine that we've achieved the current state.

There's an interesting word out there that doesn't really fit anymore: Compatible. The denotation means com (with) - pathos (to suffer). Thus, when a couple was "compatible", it was deemed that they were of sufficient temperament that they could suffer loss together and weather it enough to sustain a family.

Think of "compatible" the next time you look for your next phone or computer accessory...LOL.

 

[fearsomefour]

A lot of people don't know this, but prior to 1900, in most parts of this country and around the world, infant and child mortality was 50% - meaning that prior to age 5 iirc, there was a 50% chance that child would die of some disease or disaster. When they say life was hard, they really meant it. They had lots of kids on those days because children didn't survive and that was a fact of life...a crushingly hard fact, but a fact. It's only with modern sanitation, refrigeration and medicine that we've achieved the current state.

There's an interesting word out there that doesn't really fit anymore: Compatible. The denotation means com (with) - pathos (to suffer). Thus, when a couple was "compatible", it was deemed that they were of sufficient temperament that they could suffer loss together and weather it enough to sustain a family.

Think of "compatible" the next time you look for your next phone or computer accessory...LOL.

Makes sense actually.
When my wife (before we were married) asked if I believed in soul mates I said, "No. But I do believe in cell mates, I know those exist."
Misery loves compatible company.

 

[beej]

Praying For you mackseyer. I wish there was more thatI can do than that.

 

[Ramhusker]

A lot of people don't know this, but prior to 1900, in most parts of this country and around the world, infant and child mortality was 50% - meaning that prior to age 5 iirc, there was a 50% chance that child would die of some disease or disaster. When they say life was hard, they really meant it. They had lots of kids on those days because children didn't survive and that was a fact of life...a crushingly hard fact, but a fact. It's only with modern sanitation, refrigeration and medicine that we've achieved the current state.

There's an interesting word out there that doesn't really fit anymore: Compatible. The denotation means com (with) - pathos (to suffer). Thus, when a couple was "compatible", it was deemed that they were of sufficient temperament that they could suffer loss together and weather it enough to sustain a family.

Think of "compatible" the next time you look for your next phone or computer accessory...LOL.

Keep on keepin on Mack! It's hard to know what to say to someone that loses a child. Know that you have extended family here at ROD to lean on if you ever need it.

Interesting you should mention how things were prior to 1900. I always thought that my Great Great Grandparents had only 3 children until this past week. I learned they had 8 all together but lost 5 of them in the same year to Typhoid. And I had other relatives back then that lost as many as 3 children due to Sandoff Disease being in our genes.