No More Pillow Talk: Phones In Bed Taking A Toll On Relationships, Sex Lives

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coconut

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coconut
No More Pillow Talk: Phones In Bed Taking A Toll On Relationships, Sex Lives
by Ben Renner
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  • Survey reveals that nearly three in four adults bring their phone to bed with them.
  • More than a third of Americans say their sex life has suffered as a result of smartphones in the bedroom.
  • A quarter of respondents admit the last thing they see before closing their eyes at night is their phone, not their partner.
NEW YORK — The bedroom is traditionally used for two primary purposes for adults: sleeping and romance. However, the advent of smartphones has seemingly changed that, with nearly three quarters of surveyed Americans admitting they bring their phone to bed with them. Unsurprisingly, all of that between the sheet screen time is having an adverse effect on many people’s relationships.
The survey, commissioned by global tech solutions company Asurion, polled 2,000 Americans on their phone habits, and found that people who regularly bring their phone to bed are two times more likely to use their device than engage in romantic activity with their partner during the hour before they fall asleep.
In fact, among respondents, phone time was the number one activity listed for their last hour spent awake each night. Another 25% of respondents say the last thing they see each night before closing their eyes is their phone, not their spouse or loved one.
All of that phone time is undoubtedly impacting couples’ communication patterns. Respondents spend an average of three nights per week watching separate screenswhile in bed. Interestingly, 55% of respondents say they realize that the are missing out on quality time with their loved ones by staring at their phone so often, and 35% even admit that their sex life has suffered.
On a positive note, one third of surveyed couples say they have at least discussed and acknowledged the need to get off their phones more often while in bed.
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“The survey reveals that phones aren’t just changing how we socialize and stay connected, they’re influencing how we relate to each other in our closest relationships,” says Bettie Colombo, Asurion spokesperson, in a statement.
The survey also revealed that the average adult living with a significant other brings their phone to bed four nights per week, and spends about 40 minutes on the device each night before falling asleep.
Even when it is time to go to sleep, 93% of American sleep with their phone within arm’s reach, and almost 10% sleep with their phone under the pillow! Much of this behavior seems to be due to people’s need to be connected at all times, with 73% of respondents saying they feel inclined to be on their phone at all hours of the day and night.
In all, 51% of respondents say they are interested in developing a better phone-life balance in their day-to-day routines.
A few tips for getting off your phone at night:
  • Put your phone on its charger 30 minutes before bedtime after setting alarms
  • Customize your Do Not Disturb settings to only allow important or urgent calls and notifications during the evenings and at bedtime.
  • Initiate ‘good-bye’ messages when texting or messaging others earlier to avoid staying up too late.
The survey was conducted by OnePoll.
 

oldnotdead

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:rolleyes: I don't know about the sex lives part. I know too many people, young and ewww old who are using those phones to record or stream their sex lives. People will use any excuse so using phones is just another thing in a long history of excuses. In the 50's and 60's it was the headache, or too much work and being tired. There have always been some kind of excuse for both men and women.

People are simply ignoring the fact that good relationships takes effort and nurturing by both parties. If someones sex life is boring it's because they make it that way. Using a phone as an excuse is symptomatic of a deeper problem....the phone isn't the problem, just the excuse.
 

Angry Ram

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K. Few things.

1. This is from a random survey of 2000 people in a little over 3 million population country. Not representative at all, especially since its from those 2000 people that actually responded.

2. Many people have no choice but have to be available 24/7 due to work, and in some cases have to respond. Was that taken into consideration? I personally a huge proponent of a healthy work/life balance, but unfortunately that's the reality in 2019.

And even if they don't use it for work, how is this any different from having a regular phone in a bedroom? I personally have mine charging next to my bed every night. I fail to see how that is a problem.

3. Speaking of landlines, it's being outdated and mobiles are the one source of communication, so it's not surprising the cell phone is replacing the cordless. It's not any different.

4. And as stated before by @oldnotdead blaming phones is the excuse. People need to take responsibility, for anything.
 

bluecoconuts

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I don't use my phone while in bed because it trains your brain into thinking the bedroom isn't for sleeping. I don't have a TV in my bedroom, nor do I read in it either, I do all that in the living room. I used to use the phone at night, or listen to soft music/rain while I slept, but it had an adverse affect on my sleeping so I stopped. My doctor told me the same thing while working on my sleep, he told me to only use the bed/bedroom for "sleeping or fucking" so when I lay down in bed my mind doesn't start racing and thinking of things, it just goes to sleep.

People have a major addiction to their phones. I get it to a degree, I listen to podcasts while driving into work and walking from my car to my office (I park about a mile away to get some exercise, and because it's free), so someone who uses their phone less (such as my parents) may think that's too much dependency. However, given that I'm working at a school, I see these kids walking face down in their phone everywhere. I'm actually impressed by how they can keep going without tripping over things, but they just have zero awareness of what's going around them. These kids walk out into traffic crossing the street even when the cross traffic has a green light, I've seen a number of kids get pulled back to safety by a friend or random bystander as they're walking into traffic face in their phones, it's nuts. I have no problem believing that people who can't even look up from their phone long enough to check traffic before stepping out also choose their phone over their partners.
 

coconut

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  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #7
I've never had a TV in my bedroom. Radio yes. TV no.
 

LesBaker

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I don't use my phone while in bed because it trains your brain into thinking the bedroom isn't for sleeping. I don't have a TV in my bedroom, nor do I read in it either, I do all that in the living room. I used to use the phone at night, or listen to soft music/rain while I slept, but it had an adverse affect on my sleeping so I stopped. My doctor told me the same thing while working on my sleep, he told me to only use the bed/bedroom for "sleeping or fucking" so when I lay down in bed my mind doesn't start racing and thinking of things, it just goes to sleep.

I am exactly the same way.
 

Angry Ram

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I am exactly the same way.

Personally I listen and watch videos to not think about the daily BS. Works great, and if I laugh before bed, even better.

Nothing worse than going to bed dreading waking up.