Memento's In the Hospital Right Now so Half-Arsed Mock Draft.

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Memento

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Well, assuming that Akhello Witherspoon gets re-signed for this offseason and not much else, so I'll be going with the trades and draft here. So, here we go:

Post June Cuts:

Colby Parkinson, Darious Williams, Derion Kendrick.

(All obvious.)

Trades:

#26 overall to the Chicago Bears for #39 overall and #41 overall.

(Bears jump up for a falling O-lineman (Conerly, Ersery, or Zabel), we trade down and get two picks.)

#127 overall (2025 draft, fourth round pick). to the Detroit Lions for Hendon Hooker.

(Hooker isn't going to get any opportunities behind Goff, so we strike a deal with Brad Holmes for him to learn behind Matt Stafford. He may be older than Joe Milton (Hooker turned twenty-seven this January and was an older prospect in 2023), but I like his accuracy so much more than Milton's, and Hooker's still a fairly decent athlete with a big-time arm, and is a better processor than Milton.)

#39 to the Cincinnati Bengals for #49 overall and #81 overall.

(Cincinnati jumps Dallas for a running back in this scenario. They swap seconds and give us a third for that.)

#41 overall to the New England Cheatriots for #69 overall, #77 overall, and 2026 fifth.

(New England jumps up for a falling edge rusher. We get three picks in return.)

Draft:

#49 overall - Mason Taylor, TE, Louisiana State.

(Taylor is one of the many options in this rich tight end class. Some think he might go first round, but I'm just going by Tankathon's thing. Very dependable tight end who excels at everything.)

#69 overall - Jack Bech, WR, Texas Christian.

(Suck it, Kupp, we have a younger version of you! Seriously, though, Bech is a fantastic prospect, and I was surprised that Tankathon had him so low. Solid hands, solid route running, solid size. I'd love to have him.)

#77 overall - Wyatt Milum, OT, West Virginia.

(Milum could be Havenstein's replacement. Some may think he isn't a fit at tackle, but I love his nastiness, his technical prowess, and overall reliability for right tackle.

#81 overall - Danny Stutsman, ILB, Oklahoma.

(We like Stutsman a lot. I like Stutsman a lot. It fits. I think he could be the all-situations inside linebacker we're missing.)

#90 overall - Jacob Parrish, CB, Kansas State.

(Parrish may be small, but he's physical, has outstanding IQ, and fantastic athleticism.)

#101 overall - Nohl Williams, CB, California.

(Williams has outstanding ball skills, and is a long and lengthy corner, which helps with his speed issues.)

#190 overall - Simeon Barrow Jr., DT, Miami (Florida).

(Like I've mentioned before, I think we need an option behind Braden Fiske more than a run-stuffer, especially with Poona Ford, Tyler Davis, and Desjuan Johnson as run stoppers. Barrow brings pass rushing juice and surprisingly good run-stopping with him.)

#195 overall - Isaac TeSlaa, WR, Arkansas.

(Athletic freak of nature (6'4", 214 lbs., 4.43 forty, 4.05 shuttle, 1.51 split, 39.5 inch vertical, 129 broad jump, 6.85 cone, 17 bench press) who would be a solid developmental X receiver to learn from Adams and Nacua.)

#201 overall - Teddye Buchanan, ILB, California.

(Love how Buchanan played at Cal and he had outstanding production. Could be a solid teams player and coverage linebacker, in case Speights backslides.)

#202 overall - Marcus Yarns, RB/WR/PR, Delaware.

(Yarns is an incredibly versatile player. From running back to receiver, he has the hands, physicality, and route running to succeed at damned near everything. He's blazing fast for a running back as well (4.49 forty), but isn't the biggest (5'11", 194 lbs.), so he could offer something at receiver if running back doesn't work out.)

Roster:

QB: Matt Stafford, Jimmy Garoppolo, Hendon Hooker

RB: Kyren Williams, Blake Corum, Cody Schrader, Marcus Yarns.

WR: Puka Nacua, Davante Adams, Jack Bech, Chatarius Atwell, Jordan Whittington, Isaac TeSlaa.

TE: Tyler Higbee, Mason Taylor, Davis Allen.

OL: Alaric Jackson, Steve Avila, Beaux Limmer, Kevin Dotson, Rob Havenstein, Coleman Shelton, Wyatt Milum, K.T. Leveston, Justin Dedich, Dylan McMahon.

DL: Kobie Turner, Braden Fiske, Poona Ford, Tyler Davis, Desjuan Johnson, Simeon Barrow

LB: Jared Verse, Byron Young, Danny Stutsman, Omar Speights, Brennan Jackson, Nick Hampton, Teddye Buchanan.

DB: Akhello Witherspoon, Emmanuel Forbes, Kam Kinchens, Kam Curl, Quentin Lake, Cobie Durant, Jacob Parrish, Nohl Williams, Josh Wallace, Charles Woods, Jaylen McCollough.

ST: Josh Karty, Ethan Evans, Alex Ward.

-

Feel free to flame.
 

Gandalf

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Not much to flame, but the first couple of trades are very favorable to us, which would be great if we can pull it off.
 

Memento

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What’s going on Memsie? You ok?

Another UTI, the second one in two weeks (so the first one obviously didn’t get cleared), and I had a vasovagal syncope where I fell unconscious and off of the hospital bed and on to the floor. Still have the wounds on both hands where I landed, and since this UTI never cleared, my hope is that they find the stronger antibiotics to clear it.

Other than that? Can’t truly complain when people have been losing their homes and lives to the storm system in the Midwest.
 

FaulkSF

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@Memento feel better Jemma. I didn’t watch any college football, but your mock drafts are always entertaining.
 

jrry32

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Feel better soon, Jemma! Let me know when you're feeling better so I can offer all my criticisms of your mock. :zany1:
 

den-the-coach

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@Memento hope you feel better I thought something was off with just a few trades. Great work as always, your depth and the ability to keep track of everything is simply amazing.

As to Hendon Hooker, won't he and Stetson Bennett be eligible for social security after Stafford retires? ;)
 

Flatlyner

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Would love those trade downs. Might make some different choices as I'm higher on Fannin then Taylor. Really like getting Hooker in our system for a 4th.

Hoping you feel better soon Mem!
 

dieterbrock

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Hooker got pushed to 3rd string by a retired Teddy Bridgewater last year, and likely by Kyle Allen this year. Methinks he's probably available for a lot less than a 4th. If even worth it at all
 

Flatlyner

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Hooker got pushed to 3rd string by a retired Teddy Bridgewater last year, and likely by Kyle Allen this year. Methinks he's probably available for a lot less than a 4th. If even worth it at all
I'd be on the phone then. I think the only time I've seen him play in the NFL (preseason) he looked capable.
 

Memento

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I’m out of the hospital. Thank you, everyone for your well wishes; kind words help people more than anyone knows, and it certainly helped me.

Now feel free to flame. :D
 

Karate61

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Glad you're out of the hospital! Love your whole mock. I am feeling we need a stud cb to lock up the backfield for a few years. If you had to modify your mock to take a cb with one of the Rams 1st three picks, who would you go after and what would you modify to make that happen?

I feel like the defense, with the strong front, could really benefit from improvement at corner. Linebackers will work themselves out. A stronger defensive backfield would make the defense better exponentially...my opinion.
 

Neil039

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I like your Beck, Stutsman and Williams picks. The trades are favorable (like another poster stated), not sure they can happen. Not a believer in Hendon Hooker trade.

As always, thanks for taking the time to post and give all of us something to think about. HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER