Landscaping: sounds like a great idea until it's time to do it

[Merlin]

So I've been in my new house (got about a 5 acres) for some months now and I told the wife I wanted to "plant a ton of shit" this spring. So the genius I am I went online and went apeshit buying fruit trees, hedge type willows, blossoming cherry trees, and good fucking grief I am now exhausted. My soft city boy hands are fucking killing me.

But it gets worse. For no good fucking reason I bought 2 trees from the Missouri Dept of Conservation, and I was stoned and didn't realize they were 10 trees each. So now I have 20 fucking trees incoming FML.

And two weeks from now I have a cement truck coming for a slab pour so I can build the little woman a greenhouse to go play in and leave me alone, but of course I suspect I overdid the size of it (going to build a 12x20 footer).

Anyway. Since I don't want to do prison time for murder had to get all that shit off my chest. Does anyone else have this kind of mental problem (hatching ridiculous landscaping plots they struggle to finish) or am I alone here. alm:

 

[RhodyRams]

Nope.. you are on your own

Women love when you rub their nipples with calloused hands

 

[SteezyEndo]

You can start a fruit tree conservation? 5 acres. Shit u might be able to get a winery going.

 

[FaulkSF]

@Merlin 5 acres? Damn, I have 1/8 acre and that keeps me extremely busy on the weekends.

 

[Dieter the Brock]

Acreage is the best. The more the better.

Bigger footprint on the slab is better too - the greenhouse can still be the original size but in the future you can expand and in the meantime she’ll be able to use that extra concrete for leisure or taking plants outside during the season. Anyway - it’s gonna work to your advantage

Sounds like you are actually doing everything correctly

More good news - about the 20 small trees - they will take a few years but since you got them from the state they will be disease free and since they are small they will root way better than larger trees - and they will grow at a way better rate than larger ones you get in containers from nursery.

So ultimately - stay stoned and keep doing what you’re doing. All you so called mistakes are actually going to benefit you greatly down the line

 

[TexasRam]

Yard work? Nah. Homey don’t play that.

To each their own but here in Texas I pay people to do my work outside. Two reasons:

1 It’s always too dam hot and I’m from CA.

2 I have lower back issues so wouldn’t be out there even if weather permitted.

 

[1maGoh]

Yard work? Nah. Homey don’t play that.

To each their own but here in Texas I pay people to do my work outside. Two reasons:

1 It’s always too dam hot and I’m from CA.

2 I have lower back issues so wouldn’t be out there even if weather permitted.

I think we might be the same person. You wouldn't happen to be my split personality would you?

 

[12intheBox]

I’ll pay for shipping if you send some trees my way. We are on the look for some.

 

[Merlin]

Bigger footprint on the slab is better too - the greenhouse can still be the original size but in the future you can expand and in the meantime she’ll be able to use that extra concrete for leisure or taking plants outside during the season. Anyway - it’s gonna work to your advantage

Yeah it's funny you mention extra concrete. Originally I was going with a slab exactly the size of the greenhouse but the wife actually wanted a border for chairs and bags of dirt and whatnot so I went bigger.

One thing that really annoyed me in all this is the cost of the prefab greenhouses. The ones that are of good size are just way too overpriced. So I expect I will have a lot of lessons learned once I get past the framing portion and begin trying to panel it.

Will definitely get some pics and share what I learn.

 

[rdlkgliders]

I actually love landscaping, I just finished helping the neighbor. Sounds like you bit off a lot but you can slowly work through it. Come up with a layout for the stuff you are unsure of. Just because it is at your house doesn't mean it has to go in the ground today. That stuff goes from grow farm to nursery and can sit quite awhile. Take a breath and work through it in a methodical fashion. As for the wife and the greenhouse...…...Nice move that will be the big pay off

 

[Ramlock]

Spent the last couple of weekends planting some Encore azaleas, cleaning Maple seed pods off the patio and cut the grass for the first time yesterday...Springtime just to the south of you.

need to truck in some mulch for the shrub beds.

Our little cul de sac neighborhood has some hollies in a brick planter that I prune and shape so that’s done.

We have a small lot but lots of beds to keep up with.

5 acres? Gotta have a lawn tractor or riding mower don’t you?
I’d be out there all day with my Honda self-propelled!

Good luck!

 

[Merlin]

Spent the last couple of weekends planting some Encore azaleas, cleaning Maple seed pods off the patio and cut the grass for the first time yesterday...Springtime just to the south of you.

need to truck in some mulch for the shrub beds.

Our little cul de sac neighborhood has some hollies in a brick planter that I prune and shape so that’s done.

We have a small lot but lots of beds to keep up with.

5 acres? Gotta have a lawn tractor or riding mower don’t you?
I’d be out there all day with my Honda self-propelled!

Good luck!

Yeah the "first mow of spring" out in these parts is no joke lol. My entire property is park-like with a lot of grass (I have about 10 old oaks and a very large garden with 8 assorted trees) so that's part of the reason I want more trees.

And the mower is important yes. I bought a small John Deere when I got out here and was a little annoyed when my wife's family (who are Missourians) were rofling & making jokes about how it wasn't gonna do the job. But they were right. Ended up buying a large Husqy zero turn with a very wide mowing range and that thing is a dream to use in comparison.

Mowing probably takes me about 4 hours, maybe more depending on how long the grass is. But I admit I do actually enjoy the mowing now with the zero turn.

Where do you buy your mulch from? One annoyance has been finding good prices on mulch/dirt/potting mix online. I'm at the point where I'm gonna have to hit the hardware store here soon because the 10x3 planter beds I'm installing require a ton more dirt than I realized.

 

[Ramlock]

Yeah the "first mow of spring" out in these parts is no joke lol. My entire property is park-like with a lot of grass (I have about 10 old oaks and a very large garden with 8 assorted trees) so that's part of the reason I want more trees.

And the mower is important yes. I bought a small John Deere when I got out here and was a little annoyed when my wife's family (who are Missourians) were rofling & making jokes about how it wasn't gonna do the job. But they were right. Ended up buying a large Husqy zero turn with a very wide mowing range and that thing is a dream to use in comparison.

Mowing probably takes me about 4 hours, maybe more depending on how long the grass is. But I admit I do actually enjoy the mowing now with the zero turn.

Where do you buy your mulch from? One annoyance has been finding good prices on mulch/dirt/potting mix online. I'm at the point where I'm gonna have to hit the hardware store here soon because the 10x3 planter beds I'm installing require a ton more dirt than I realized.

If you can get access to a pickup, get bulk mulch at a garden center/nursery.

I would do that if I could or hit Lowe’s for bagged mulch.

Most should have the good topsoil dirt mix you’d want for the planter beds.

Nice upgrade to the zero turn...gotta be a time saver!

 

[Elmgrovegnome]

I had a fulltime landscape business for 13 years, then part-time for the next 10. I enjoy the hard work, and getting creative in the yard. I really miss being able to do it like I used to. It gets you into insanely good shape. ( I didn't own a tractor so we did a lot with hand tools). My body is paying the price now though.

 

[dieterbrock]

This thread is resonating with me. When I was a young lad, my alcoholic-workaholic father had a quasi nervous breakdown. His shrink suggested he take up gardening to relieve stress. Wasnt 5 acres, but he planted everything. Rose garden, tomato plants, azaleas, rhododendron, you name it he planted it. The yard was amazing, right out of Better Homes and Gardens.
Then he discovered golf, and found that drinking and gambling with his buddies was more stress relieving...
Ergo, the yard maintenance? Yeah, you guessed it. I'd have a list of chores every day. Weekends were brutal. I'd have a good 5-6 hours to do, and then work in the restaurant. Ugh... That phrase, take time to smell the flowers? Really hits home
Good luck with the scaping, try not to overdo it....